I’m going to get transparent here: mentally, it’s been a tough season. The world feels like it's moving at the speed of light, with events piling on top of each other, leaving little room to breathe. It's like trying to navigate everything all at once, coming in hot. A James Baldwin quote inspired this post I found myself sitting with, which described how I've been feeling lately:
“To be a Negro in this country and to be relatively conscious is to be in a rage almost all the time”
2024 was a year of transformative growth for me, no doubt. Reflecting on it now, I see the strides I’ve made and the progress I’ve carved for myself. Still, there’s this lingering tension—this unease that comes with realizing the truths many are not ready to face. This feeling has evolved into my understanding of why I chose another lifetime, including the Age of Aquarius. This thought led me to my Human Design and my AHA! moment once I refreshed my mind of the lessons laid before me in my charts that point to the mission I'm here to serve. I wanted to share this journey as this may help someone out there figure out their why, and if, like me, you are a Projector, understanding why this moment is so crucial as the Earth we once knew begins to transform, and we are the architects.
Peering Behind the Veil
The deeper I dive into research, the more I uncover truths about this realm—this space we occupy—that are difficult to reconcile. I’ve found solace in podcasts like The Telepathy Tapes, which have sparked conversations within me that I didn’t even know I needed. One episode explored how scientists and mediums—those deeply attuned to the universe—were ostracized for their discoveries about consciousness.
What resonated most was the link between clairvoyant gifts and the neurodivergent experience. Hearing autistic and neurodivergent mediums describe their heightened awareness of those around them validated my own struggles as someone who processes the world differently. It made me wonder—what if my parents had access to this knowledge when I was younger?
I remember telling my mom, “Sometimes, my mind feels too loud.” Her immediate response was to ask if I might be schizophrenic. At the time, I couldn’t explain what I meant. But looking back, I see it clearly—my clair abilities quietly asserting themselves. For years, I judged this part of myself, often feeling misunderstood. Only when I truly embraced my design did I begin to understand my experience.
This podcast opened my eyes to groundbreaking research—not just on autistic children, but on the reality of clairvoyance and telepathic tendencies. The idea that these gifts are real and could benefit our world in profound ways is both affirming and urgent. One sentence from Episode 8 struck me deeply:
“Admitting that our paradigm is wrong and telepathy is real—only then can the non-speakers help us usher in the future of medicine, technology, spirituality, and science.”
Their design is no mistake. In fact, they hold a special key to this Earth. My hope is that one day, as a collective, we will recognize this truth. We are witnessing, in real time, the unraveling of long-held beliefs about our world, and with it, an influx of revelations that demand our attention.
The Burden of Knowing
Lately, I’ve been reflecting on the weight of knowledge—especially as someone with clairvoyance and spiritual insight. A recurring theme is stability. Since the pandemic, consistent security has been a challenge, not just for me but for so many others. It often feels like the system is designed against us, a sentiment echoed in a recent live reading I tuned into.
First, let me say—abundance is our birthright. As an elder once told me, we must be in the world but not of it. Our power lies in our ability to alchemize our environments. We do not need to suffer to be who we are. However, I’ve noticed a pattern: many starseeds share similar hardships—not identical situations, but struggles that make me question why this happens.
The reader I respect, Antphrodite, spoke about this in their reading, discussing our existence beyond human flesh—our souls traveling through lifetimes. They mentioned how money is the lowest vibrational exchange, yet spiritual workers, healers, and light-bringers—those doing soul-level work—often struggle financially. Meanwhile, material wealth seems to accumulate in the hands of those disconnected from deeper truths.
There’s also a belief that certain bloodlines carry ancestral DNA tracing back to something significant, often facing purposeful challenges on Earth. Antphrodite described a vision of someone navigating life with difficulty, appearing to have “bad luck,” yet crowned in white—symbolizing purity and divine purpose. They suggested that in the grand scheme, royal bloodlines hold power beyond this realm, and the vibrational pull on Earth is inverted—where low-vibrational individuals are rewarded while high-vibrational souls endure hardships. This speaks to the concept of Earth as a “prison planet,” where an energetic haze distorts truth and balance.
Dolores Cannon’s teachings align with this idea, describing Earth as one of the most challenging places to incarnate due to our strong emotions and the fact that we forget who we are upon birth. This forgetting is intentional—it forces us to rediscover ourselves and evolve. But over time, wars, religion, politics, trauma, and personal struggles have kept us stuck in cycles of negativity and self-sabotage. If we all remembered our true nature as beings of light and love, conflict wouldn’t exist.
Earth needs us to evolve. Many of us have already ascended on other planes—but we incarnate here to assist in raising its vibration. However, forces on Earth seem to interfere with our mission. The system profits from keeping people in a state of depression, unhealthiness, and stagnation. But this is changing. We must elevate, and we will.
Alea Lovely’s podcast, ‘Spiritual Shit’ (Episode 236: “End the Reincarnation Cycle and Never Come Back to Earth”), explores this further. She discusses how the most powerful healers often live with less because their focus is on higher callings, not materialism. The path of light is full of obstacles designed to test and refine us. We reincarnate on Earth to heal—not just ourselves, but others.
The Matrix, as a construct, thrives on mechanisms of control—most notably shame, guilt, and fear. These are not merely incidental but deliberate tactics, particularly aimed at chosen individuals, often referred to as the "children of the Great Mother." These individuals are born with an innate light and a divine purpose to elevate the frequency of the world. However, the false matrix identifies this light from the moment of birth and implements psychological and emotional distortions to suppress it.
Shout out to Sierra Ferrell for what she expressed at the Grammy's—I’ve been saying this for years. This is spiritual warfare. Each of us must understand why we chose to be here now, why we have these gifts, and why we are witnessing what we see. Regardless of personal beliefs, we all play a part. Through readings, research, and books, I’ve come to realize Earth is not what I once thought. So now what? How do we hold this knowledge and still navigate the day-to-day?
For generational curse-breakers, this awakening is particularly significant. Their role is to challenge and dismantle toxic family paradigms, acting as catalysts for transformation within their bloodlines. This often requires a painful but necessary separation from familial toxicity to protect not only themselves but also their children from perpetuating cycles of trauma. By recognizing the deception tactics and choosing to stand authentically, these individuals fulfill their divine purpose, transforming pain into empowerment. This unwavering authenticity dismantles the matrix, allowing the chosen ones to reclaim their sacred energy and create a new paradigm for future generations.
I’ve also been exploring the term "generational recovery", inspired by Ehime Ora’s ‘Spirits Come From Water.’ In Ifá, she shared that our ancestors live within us—specifically in our big toes. Every step we take carries the power of our lineage, stretching back to the beginning of time. This perspective has transformed my approach to life.
Living well isn’t just about personal fulfillment; it’s about honoring those who came before us. For those called to spiritually reconstruct their lineage, the work can feel overwhelming. We serve as archivists of ancestral wisdom, piecing together lost fragments of history. Whether through lineage or past lives, we carry imprints of soul lessons.
But this work isn’t easy. Colonial narratives have demonized ancestral practices, equating them with darkness. Yet, we are here to reclaim them. We are here to heal, love, and elevate—despite the distractions and the obstacles. And we will.
At the end of the day, we all have to find balance—between surviving in this world and transcending it. For me, that means continuing to develop my spiritual gifts while staying grounded in the practicalities of life.
Understanding Your Design in This Age
Lately, it feels as if the world itself is undergoing a monumental shift. My cousin calls it a "quantum jump"—Earth's very frequencies and vibrations are rapidly changing, and we can all feel it in our own lives. This shift has made me reflect more deeply on my role in this unfolding journey. I've learned over the recent year that the stars have to align to activate parts within ourselves. It may have felt like a stagnant "waiting" period. However, the body needed rest for this next chapter.
In the realm of Human Design, I embody the role of the 1/3 Projector. A Projector is someone here to observe, reflect, and offer guidance. My role isn’t always to take action or initiate, but to wait for the right invitations to share my insights. It’s not always easy to be patient, but when those moments arrive, it’s deeply fulfilling to offer what I’ve seen. In a previous post, I spoke about how understanding your Human Design chart—your profile, gifts, and open centers—can be a game changer in navigating this age. It provides a personalized map for reclaiming your energy, aligning with your purpose, and stepping out of the toxic patterns imposed by the Matrix.
Reading my chart reminded me of a story I loved in high school- The Giver by Lois Lowry. This theme is echoed in the story of The Giver, where an entire society is conditioned to suppress individuality and emotion for the sake of a false harmony. The protagonist, the Receiver of Memory, begins to awaken to the depth of human experience—its beauty, its pain, and its complexity. This awakening forces them to confront the system that seeks to suppress the very essence of life. Similarly, many of us, as chosen ones or generational curse breakers, are waking up to the tactics of the Matrix and reclaiming the truth of who we are.
This resonates strongly with me, especially recently, as I shared my understanding of Human Design during a yoga session with friends. I spoke about how we can use our charts as a tool for deeper self-awareness. Without overcomplicating it, I breezed through the essentials: our profiles and gifts. For those who don’t know, your natal chart is essentially your Human Design chart; both systems use the same core data but apply different names to the areas within. Your gifts in the Human Design chart are an extension of the aspects within your natal chart—this is where the uniqueness of your design lies. If you haven’t uncovered your gifts or explored the depths of your chart, I encourage you to do so. Your profile is your soul’s mission—who you are at the core.
As a 1/3 Projector, I’m here to lead others into new ways of seeing, not just from a clairvoyant perspective, but as someone who illuminates pathways for others to follow. I relate so deeply to the concept of being The Giver because it feels like my life’s purpose is to channel insights and wisdom that help others understand themselves better, just as I continue to do for myself. This isn’t just about guiding others in a spiritual sense, but in navigating the very matrix of our existence—how we relate to the world, influence it, and evolve with it. As we saw in the film what holding all that knowledge could do to a person, so through my chart, I learn how to balance and navigate all that I research. My Incarnation Cross suggests a life theme centered on the pursuit of awareness and meaning. The Giver’s mission to pass on memories aligns with this theme—you, too, are here to shine light on hidden truths and help others make sense of the human condition. I am wired to help people connect the dots in their lives and elevate their consciousness.
This amount of pressure that I carry with me in this lifetime is rooted in my past life. Recently, on Black Friday 2024, I found myself sitting across from a medium in Indianapolis for a mini Tarot check-in, not knowing she was also a past life reader. As we began talking, she briefly shared insights into my most recent past life. I had lived in the 70s and transitioned about two to three years before I was born into this current lifetime. She mentioned that I reincarnated quickly compared to others, and we didn’t go too deep into the details—she simply shared what came through. I got the sense that there’s more to unpack, and I’ll save that for another day when I have more time to process it fully.
She told me that before I transitioned, I had a vision of where society was heading—a vision I must have found concerning enough to reincarnate so soon. This life I’m living now is not the first time I’ve carried this knowledge. I come into this lifetime with wisdom, degrees, and tools I’ve carried forward from my past life. She mentioned that I would still be alive today, and if I were her age, no one would listen to a seventy-something-year-old, but I laughed, knowing that I would. The truth was, I needed to be younger in this life to better relate to people of all ages, once I stepped into my full self and remembered my purpose. This life is about remembering who I was, what I saw, and why I came back to help with what I knew was coming. That means I chose to reincarnate and live two lifetimes in the Age of Aquarius the beginning, and experience the final years of it. WOW!
This is my last reincarnation here. I’m doing my best not to screw it up, to ensure I fulfill this mission. Coming into this matrix as a lightbeam, I know not everyone will want me to shine. I’ve faced many battles and challenges trying to break through. I say this to remind myself—and others—that sometimes, the obstacles we face are not personal. Things are stacked against you succeeding, but it's important to recognize the signs, to understand what your mission looks like, and when it’s time to step back and take note of the "bugs" around you. And what gets rid of those bugs? Baths. Nature. Activity. Meditation. Love.
What I initially thought was depression was actually me not processing the many layers of all of this. Being a giver of knowledge, a researcher of both the past and present, I’ve held so much without truly processing it—one moment at a time. And I’ve been careful not to attach myself to it, to carry it without letting it weigh me down. But there’s only so much you can hold without having to release it. It’s a journey of learning to navigate the depth of who I am and why I’ve come to this moment.
New Earth, New Birth, Who Dis?
What is YOUR role? What is your design? Now that you've had the chance to see, understand, and unlayer, what will you do with this information? Yes, I realize I may have sounded a bit crazy back there, but come on! What is normal these days as we witness so many things we never thought in a million years we'd ever see?
In this age of transformation, it's time for all of us to step into our truest, most authentic selves—breaking free from outdated expectations and embracing the wisdom that’s been waiting for us to tap into. The question isn’t whether you're ready. The question is, how will you channel the wisdom of your design to create a ripple of change, not only in your own life, but in the lives of others?
You’ve been given the tools. Now, the world is waiting for your spark.
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