Finding Home In Limbo

The Journey to Spiritual Guidance and Self-Love

Spiritual growth is a journey of transformation. There are moments when we feel grounded, deeply connected to a higher power, and certain of our path. But there are also times when we feel lost, caught between spaces that no longer serve us and the uncertainty of the future. In these moments, finding a spiritual home that aligns with who we are today can feel overwhelming. Yet, it is also one of the most rewarding steps toward healing and self-discovery.

One experience that deeply shaped my understanding of community, patience, and spiritual growth was my time at the Beaucoup Hoodoo Festival. Surrounded by like-minded souls, I realized just how essential community is in the spiritual journey. It wasn’t just about finding a place or practice to call home, but about being in the company of people who support and hold space for each other's growth. The festival reinforced how often we forget the value of patience—not just with others, but with ourselves as we navigate our path. This moment became a turning point, reminding me that patience is essential in finding both our spiritual community and our guide.

The Struggle of Finding Trustworthy Spiritual Guides

For a long time, I sought a spiritual community—one where I could align with the energies around me and grow creatively, not just spiritually. Along the way, I encountered many guides, mentors, and communities, some of which initially seemed promising, only to later reveal their limitations or hidden motives.

The search for a trustworthy mentor has been one of the most challenging parts of my spiritual path. It’s easy to place our trust in others, especially those who appear wise and experienced. But over time, I’ve learned that not all guides are meant for our journey. Some spiritual leaders can be manipulative or lack the tools to help us evolve. One key piece of advice I received from an elder was understanding my needs first—before entering situations I may not want to be in, or before wasting someone else’s time. This wisdom helped me avoid making rushed decisions in a moment of desperation.

I share this because, like many, I’m still figuring it out. We all are. That’s the human experience, isn’t it? In moments of disillusionment, I’ve questioned my worth, feeling as though I had to prove myself to attract the right guidance. These feelings come from deep childhood wounds, where I often felt overlooked and misunderstood. But through these struggles, I’ve learned that self-worth doesn’t come from external validation—it comes from within. This lesson has been reinforced through one-on-one and group therapy, which has helped me better understand myself and how to give myself grace. I hope sharing this part of my journey encourages others to do the same.

Lessons of Love and Detachment

One of the most profound lessons I’ve learned is the importance of love—love for myself, love for others, and love for the journey itself. Recently, I found myself watching videos about Near-Death Experiences (NDEs), and I was struck by how consistent the themes were across all of them. A common thread in these accounts is the realization that love is the only constant in life. The individuals who shared their stories spoke of a shift in perspective, where love became not just an emotion but a state of being. This insight deeply resonated with me and reinforced the truth I’ve come to understand: no matter the hardships we face, love remains the most profound force in our lives.

This understanding ties into a recent reading I had in New Orleans, where a healer spoke about the sacred art of grounding ourselves, especially for those of us who are empaths or feel deeply, such as those with Pisces placements like myself. The healer shared that in our spiritual work, we must practice love and compassion—grounding ourselves in these feelings without letting the negative energies of the world cloud our judgment.

Detachment, the healer reminded me, isn’t about cutting off love; it’s about releasing attachment to outcomes, expectations, and unhealthy patterns. This lesson of love and detachment has become central to my spiritual journey. Choosing love from a place of freedom and non-attachment has been crucial. Even when I let go of things or spaces I've outgrown, love can continue to flow freely, guiding me forward.

This principle ties into the lesson I’ve been working on since the Beaucoup Hoodoo Festival: that community and connection are vital, but detachment can be just as important. We need to stay grounded in love, but also give ourselves permission to step back from unhealthy dynamics. The festival reminded me of the necessity of surrounding myself with people who reflect this balance of love and compassion in their practice.

Self-love has been one of the most transformative tools in my spiritual journey. For much of my life, I believed I had to earn love, success, or happiness. These beliefs came from childhood experiences where I felt like I had to prove myself in various spaces—spiritually, socially, and creatively. But healing from these wounds required a shift in perspective: I had to begin with love for myself. I had to accept that I am worthy simply because I exist.

Understanding love as a state of being—something we can choose and practice, not just something we feel—has deeply affected how I approach relationships and personal development. This perspective shifts the focus away from seeking validation externally, and instead, empowers us to act with love toward ourselves and others, regardless of how we feel in a particular moment.

This shift in perspective has helped me heal relationships that were once strained—both with others and with myself. Choosing self-love means allowing myself to restore balance, heal past hurts, and create healthier relationships. It’s about embracing my imperfections and giving myself grace. When I operate from a place of self-love, I can love others more fully, forgive more easily, and grow with a sense of peace.

The Power of Godparents and Mentors in Spiritual Growth

In many spiritual traditions, godparents are essential guides, mentors, and sources of support. For a long time, I’ve sought a godparent—someone to walk with me, offering wisdom and guidance as I explore the depths of my spiritual journey. However, finding the right godparent has proven to be more challenging than I expected.

I’ve encountered well-meaning people who weren’t quite the right fit for my path, and I’ve struggled with defining what a godparent should represent. Should they nurture my growth while holding me accountable? Should they challenge me or simply guide me through? The absence of a trusted guide has made me realize that I don’t need a perfect mentor. I need someone honest, compassionate, and respectful of my autonomy while still offering wisdom when needed. Choosing someone that also chooses me too.

In my journey, I’ve come to realize that finding spiritual guidance should be treated with the same care and consideration as choosing a life partner. It takes time. It requires patience. At the Beaucoup Hoodoo Festival, I was able to connect with others who shared their personal experiences of finding a spiritual mentor. Many of their insights and lessons on this journey helped refine my own understanding of what to look for in a godparent. Their stories helped me ask the right questions, and their experiences deepened my understanding of the qualities I should prioritize in a guide.

Example Questions to Ask When Searching for a Godparent

Finding the right godparent is a deeply personal decision, but there are key questions to ask that can help clarify whether a prospective mentor is the right fit for you. I went on a hunt of other articles and journals from other medicine people and healers that have written about this over the years. I've found some amazing articles from the early 2000's that were so helpful, espeically in a time where social media didn't exist the way it exists today. And also how this information have evolved over time to include social media and what to be mindful of in this new day of technology. From all of that research I got : What to look for in a godparent and points to keep in mind:

Are They Truly Initiated? This may seem like an obvious question, but it’s an important one. Anybody can hop online and claim anything these days. Sometimes I found that some folks paid for something that wasn't what it was supposed to be. It’s essential to understand their lineage and ask about their initiation process. A godparent should be able to share who initiated them and their spiritual lineage. This is especially important in a community where integrity and authenticity are valued. It’s worth asking for references or talking to others who’ve worked with them to verify their background. This also gives you more insight into what tradition they follow and if it aligns with what you are wanting to learn. There are many spiritual paths within the Orisha tradition, such as Ifa, Santería, Candomblé, and others. It’s crucial to understand which tradition your potential godparent practices. Do their teachings align with what you are looking for?
What Is Their Reputation in the Community? Just as you would research a company before joining, it’s important to understand the reputation of the godparent you are considering. Do they have a strong standing in the community? Do they have a healthy community or support system? Are they known for their wisdom and kindness, or do they have a history of mistreating their godchildren? Don't be afraid of speaking with others who’ve been guided by them to get an understanding of their approach to mentorship.
Do They Teach and Share Knowledge? Being a godparent is not just about overseeing initiations—it’s about providing guidance and teaching. Does your prospective godparent take the time to teach their godchildren the ins and outs of the tradition, or do they offer passive support? Some spiritual guides are incredible diviners but may struggle to be effective teachers. Understanding what kind of mentorship you need and whether the godparent can provide it is essential. THIS IS SO IMPORTANT.
What Are the Expectations and Boundaries? Ask what is expected of you as a godchild. Each house has its own requirements, and understanding what those are upfront can prevent misunderstandings later on. Some houses require regular participation, while others may not. I know of many people who have to travel to see their godparents and ile, while that isn't always ideal-its necessary for those that have found community in other places. Understanding how that fits into your schedule and lifestyle financially. It's such a huge commitment. I find that we travel for things and people that are important to us no matter what- we'll figure it out. It’s also important to discuss boundaries—how accessible are they, what are their communication preferences, and what is their approach to financial contributions?
Are They Transparent About Financials? Spiritual practices can require financial commitments, but transparency is crucial. Be clear about what you can expect to pay for ceremonies, offerings, and initiations. If a godparent demands exorbitant fees or charges excessively for readings and ceremonies, that’s a red flag. Ask for a clear breakdown of costs and what they cover. Spiritual growth should not come at the expense of your financial stability. And do they have a job? This comes up so often. Do they need you to take care of their bills? Are they overcharging or only contacting you for unnecessary ebos or rituals every week.

There are so many other questions to ask, but I wanted this to be a starting point for those to start their own list of questions or comments to journal on this journey. You can never ask too many questions and make sure it aligns with your needs. Be clear! This can also be used for anyone searching for a mentor, spiritual coach, guide - insert your own teacher here.

Responsibilities of a Godchild

Once you’ve found a godparent who aligns with your values and goals, it's good understand the responsibilities that come with this relationship. A godchild’s duties are not unlike those of any respectful relationship:

Be Humble: Humility is crucial in a godchild-godparent relationship. It’s important to be open to learning and to approach the relationship with respect.
Be Honest: Transparency with your godparent is key. They need to understand your struggles and your growth to guide you effectively.
Be Helpful: You may be called upon to help with ceremonies or assist your godparent in other ways. While this should never feel like servitude, a willingness to contribute when needed shows your commitment to the relationship.
Set Boundaries: While it’s essential to be available and supportive, it’s equally important to maintain boundaries. Financial and emotional boundaries should be respected on both sides.
Stay Open: You are entering into a mentorship, not a perfect relationship. Be prepared to accept advice and guidance—even if it’s not always what you want to hear.

Choosing a godparent or spiritual guide is a profound decision. It should be made with patience, respect, and clarity. You may find yourself drawn to someone initially, only to realize that they are not the right fit for your path. And that’s okay. Trust that the right guide will emerge when the time is right. The Beaucoup Hoodoo Festival reminded me of the importance of community in this process. It’s a reminder that finding the right spiritual home isn’t about rushing the process—it’s about being patient and discerning, trusting that the right connections will come.

When seeking a godparent, remember: take your time, ask the right questions, and trust your intuition. This is a relationship that could profoundly shape your spiritual life, so don’t settle for anything less than what truly resonates with you.

The key to navigating the limbo between spiritually focused spaces and finding a spiritual home lies in balance. I’ve learned that spiritual growth doesn’t depend solely on external guidance—it comes from within. While mentors and godparents offer valuable insights, the foundation of my spiritual journey must be built on how I feel about myself, trust in the process, and a willingness to learn from every experience, even the painful ones.

It’s not easy to trust the journey when it feels uncertain, and it’s even harder when you feel like you’re walking it alone. But every connection, every lesson, is part of the larger tapestry of life.

Embracing the Journey with Compassion

The festival reinforced the importance of community in this process. It reminded me that spiritual growth is not a race. The right connections will come when the time is right, and patience is a crucial part of that journey. Trust the process, remain open to learning, and embrace both community and self-love as you find your spiritual home.

The path may not always be clear, but it’s always worth walking. Embrace the lessons, the love, and the growth that come with each step.