This year, I found myself leaning into Spirit more than ever before. At times, I leaned so hard it turned into a crutch—a bit embarrassing to admit, but hey, we’re being honest here. Life threw me into a blender, and I was grasping for clarity, comfort, and support. Thankfully, my Babalawo, who has a way of cutting through my mental fog like a spiritual machete, offered the clarity I needed.
On my 34th birthday, I sat with him for my second reading of the year. It was magic, plain and simple. He reminded me that Elegua, my spirit papa, wasn’t tricking me or being mischievous; he was redirecting me. Elegua was busy cleaning house, shutting doors, and clearing paths that no longer served me. It wasn’t a punishment but a necessary nudge forward.
Baba’s advice hit differently in December. At first, I resisted—wondering who and what needed to go. But now, I see it. Some of the comfort zones I’ve clung to since my 20s have outlived their purpose. And my Capricorn friend introduced me to a term that cracked the code: social capital. It opened my eyes to the people I held on to, not for genuine connection, but because of the roles we played for each other.
I’m not burning bridges (I’m a lover, not a pyromaniac), but I am phasing out relationships and habits that no longer align with my growth. Spirit said, “Nope, not right now,” and I’ve learned to trust that.
Elegua’s Wisdom and the Weight of Knowing
As a child of Elegua, I’ve realized that our gift of knowing comes with responsibility. We can sense shifts before they happen, which often makes us the villain in other people’s stories. But being true to ourselves means we have to make the hard calls—even when no one else understands.
This year, I’ve leaned into that wisdom, learning to let connections take their time. Gone are the days of love-bombing new friendships or expecting instant depth. If we’ve known each other for less than a year, we’re not close friends yet—and that’s okay. Good things take time to grow.
Healing from Friendship Wounds
Friendship has been a mixed bag for me. Childhood trauma and a big friendship breakup during the pandemic left scars. I stopped calling people because, in my neuro-spicy brain, being the one to initiate felt like an imposition. If someone called me, it felt like a sign they had the capacity to hold space for me that day.
But this year, I struggled in silence. I didn’t know who could hold me, and I didn’t have the capacity to hold others the way I wanted to. It’s a cycle I’m ready to break.
I want to restart how I approach friendships. I’m learning to be clear about what I need. I thrive on in-person hangouts where I can be fully engaged. Texting back, DMing, and emailing often slip through the cracks, but tell me, “Hey, call me—I like hearing from you,” and I’ll light up.
I’m also re-tuning myself to align with the people and habits that are good for my soul. Not everything is bad; not everything is shit. Elegua isn’t shutting every door. Some things are meant to stay, grow, and nourish me. I’m so grateful for the people who remind me to show up, reach out, and trust that I’m enough.
Moving Forward with Elegua’s Guidance
As I wrap up this year, I’m holding onto Elegua’s wisdom: keep moving forward, trust the redirection, and don’t fight the clearing. The right people, places, and opportunities will align when I let go of what no longer serves me.
To everyone out there navigating their own transitions: trust your process. Everything isn’t shit.
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